With the ongoing issue about OkLet'sGo podcast being scrutinized for having contents related to misogyny, I have become more aware of who I mixed around with.
I feel somewhat guilty that it is a norm for guys to talk about a lady's "asset" as a form of a joke or a way to get a friend's attention. It all depends on what we value in life, I guess.
What we value in life are influenced by our surroundings, our upbringing, especially from our parents and people we hang out with all the time.
That is why it is crucial to take notice of who we regard as friends
The Good And Bad Friends
Good friends are like perfume sellers. Even if we don't buy their perfumes, we would still enjoy the aromatic scent of the various fragrances.
Bad friends, on the other hand, are like the blacksmith. When we get near them, we may feel the heat from the furnace and get some stains of burning coal and debris on our clothing.
I'm not a wise person to come out with such quote..hehe. The quote above was from our Prophet Muhammad p.b.u.h.
We all have friends that either push us to be a better person or just utterly toxic that the sight of them makes us puked a little in our mouth and are forced to swallow it back..cause we don't have any tissue papers, and the toilet is far away. (Okay, maybe I am just exaggerating)
Friends will be the biggest influence on how we live our lives, and because of that, choosing the right kind of friends is important.
Just like what the name implies, these are people who seemed interested in becoming your friend.
They would ask about your likes and dislikes and how they can relate to them too.
Usually, these kinds of relationships happen during the process of initial dating.
Ya knoow, the kinds where...They show interest for the first few days to weeks, then.... the "Blue Ticks" effect appears.
It usually happens when we just want to give a good first impression to someone we just got to know until we decided that he or she is not the one or we just dislike them generally and yet, we don't know how to say "You're not my type of person I'd hang out with. Bye".
The good: These kinds of friends are there to help you learn a valuable lesson in life. Not everyone is sincere, and we should not put up any hopes or have any expectations on anyone—especially strangers, no matter how nice they seemed at first.
The bad: Like want to throw your slippers at their face because you're sincere to be their friend.
Also known as Friends With Benefits.
You don't have to be in a sexually open relationship with someone to have this kind of relationship.
FWBs are people who are there when they need you for their benefit.
For example, when you own a car and it becomes convenient for them to tag along with you and somehow when you don't have a car anymore, they disappear..just like the ghoster.
The good: You finally have a friend! (lol). Also, the same situation as above.
It opens up our minds that such people exist, and from then onwards, we know how to handle the situation better if we ever meet someone like them again.
The bad: You might lose money or time or energy or all. These people are quite manipulative. They know how to take advantage of your kindness for their benefit.
Friends For Hobbies
These are the type of people where you are quite close.
In fact, you may confuse them as a best friend but, the reality is, they are nothing more than someone who you would call to fill up that empty slot during a soccer match or accompany you for a drink at the club.
But these kinds of friends will not necessarily be there for you in times of hardship.
The good: You don't have to play sports alone or handicapped. Simply means, they are there for pleasure, when you just want a good time with someone, they will be there.
The bad: They might be less helpful when you need them the most. They might also try to push you to do wrong or illegal things even when you don't want to because the only thing they care about is to do something that they enjoy doing with you.
These are the friends that are closer than blood bonds. They will protect you, fight wars with you, and shed tears with you. Guys call it "Bromance" or in the Islamic term as "Sahabah".
They are honest, kind, righteous, and caring people.
When they see that we are in the wrong, they will tell the truth. When they see we are having a problem in life, they will lend a hand.
These are friends who will build your character. Friends who want the best for you, always. They are a keeper for life. Be grateful if you have them :).
The good: Everything worth fighting for.
The bad: They are still humans with weaknesses. They break and bleed too. They need a good protector as a friend too sometimes. So, it is never a one-way relationship, be that good friend for them.
We will meet all sorts of friends during the different phases of life.
Of course, there are dozens of more types of friends that are the in-betweens.
It is quite hard to categorize anyone in each group. Sometimes, they fall into different categories at different times.
Some are the silent type of friends who knows that it is impossible to be close like it used to due to life circumstances, but they still think of you highly and pray for your well-being.
What makes a friend a keeper is when we know he or she can be called a Guardian or Sahabah.
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Zaid Omar is the founder and writer of this blog.. He is someone who values being the best version of himself with regards to his Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual aspects.