Taking care of my mental health is always my top priority. Especially when we all know, it can be very lonely in the entrepreneurship and fitness world. It kinds of reminds me of how important it is to have the right type of friends or people with us throughout our lives.
I believe the feeling of loneliness happens at different phases of our lives and it is quite common to go through it.
I share some of the things that may make us feel lonely below. Of course, some of you might have a different perspective or different experiences.
Growing Up Feeling Alone
There is a difference between being alone and feeling lonely, isn't it?
Some people wish to have a brother or sister who they could go to whenever they need a listening ear. Yet, all they have are 3 rude and self-centered siblings.
Some wish they could have a group of friends to hang out with on the weekends who are like-minded and fun, but all they have are 2 bullies and 1 weirdo who eats his own booger.
We can be with a group of people, yet at the same time, we just can't resonate with them. There are no similar interests, hobbies, or even the same life values.
When this happens, a child can feel lonely and might be desperate for attention and acknowledgment from the same age group.
I remember trying my best to fit in with people who I think were cool, but they were the ones who influenced me to skip classes and start smoking at a young age.
The fact that they befriended me and brought me to their usual hangout spot all the time made me feel like I was a part of the "cool kids."
......Until I started getting punished for stealing, skipping classes, and involved in some vandalism of public properties (I lid a few dustbins on fire..lol).
Loneliness As An Adult
As we get older, our perspective of life changes. Just like how our expectations towards the people around us have changed too.
We start losing many friends (or so we thought they were), and we hold on to those who are still with us - those who have been through many violent storms and sunshine together.
Like in the Japanese term, we call them "Nakama".
Even during adulthood, some of us might still feel lonely because we don't get to spend time with our family or friends due to hectic work schedules.
Sometimes, even when we are with our family members, there are things that we would prefer to do or talk about with our friends. So, when our friends are busy, we feel lonely again.
This is something that I always experience even up to now. Of course, I love to spend time with my family. I am close to my mum. But I have other passions and interests that I would like to talk about or do with my close friends.
Then again, they are either busy working or married, and that feeling makes me feel lonely sometimes.
So, thankfully there are social media platforms. I really am lucky to find the right types of people who share the same passion with me in entrepreneurship, fitness, and religion!
Sounds wrong when you read the subtitle, "Lonely Spouses," huh? Like, isn't that an irony? I asked myself, isn't the point of getting married is to not feel lonely?
Then again, that is not the case most of the time.
The husband comes home to eat, wash up, and watch TV or shows on his smartphone.
The wife comes home to cook, wash up, do laundry, and watch Netflix.
The only time these two ever talk is when they want the other party to pass the spoon or ketchup.
But, when the wife is ranting about her issue at work or just sharing about her passion for starting something new in her life, would the husband really listen and react?
What if the husband is also feeling drained from work and all the parenting? Would the wife sit down to listen and find a solution together?
I may be single, but there are a few times where a few married ladies confided in me their personal problems, and some even cried their hearts while doing so too (sound like hot drama, huh?..shhh).
Cases like these happens because of the lack of attention given by either spouse, isn't it?
But, who am I to judge them? They have their reasons, and if by pouring their hearts out to me makes them feel better, then that is okay for me.
I am no angel, either. I'm still doing my best to be better each day. At least, I don't want to repeat the same mistakes like what I did to my ex-lover.
Loneliness Trying To Achieve Life Goals
Ever heard the phrase that being an entrepreneur can be very lonely?
If you haven't, that means you've never step into the world of start ups. Entrepreneurs go through intense series of stress and anxieties that may eventually ruin their relationship and life.
Some even get depressed and sadly, take their own lives.
Imagine working on something you believed would change your life for good for many years. Then something bad happened to your company that caused huge losses, forcing you to sell all of your assets, and with nowhere to live and no more source of income, you become hopeless.
Then again, it doesn't happen in the entrepreneurship world only too.
Generally, people who are trying to improve themselves, whether in their health or in other aspect of their lives, may realize that it does get lonely.
When I started my entrepreneurship journey, I wasn't alone. When I told the world that I wanted to do business, many people came to me to pitch their ideas. There were people who offered me to work with them as a part-time broker, salesperson, network marketer, and many more.
The problem was, I was too desperate for acknowledgement and was too easily influenced by anyone with an idea to help me get rich. I ended up signing up for so many membership clubs, courses, and seminars to the point where I got myself into debts and I couldn't even finish most of the training sessions as it was too overwhelming.
Being motivated to change our current situation for the better is a great character to have, but we must always know when to say "No" and not be easily influenced by any new opportunities that comes in your way.
Loneliness Because Of Sickness
We all have seen or at least heard stories of how COVID 19 patients have to die alone in hospitals.
It is such a heartbreaking thing to know. I can never imagine myself alone in the hospital ward on my dying bed without my parents or close family members as I slowly lose consciousness with no one to hold on to my cold hands and saying prayers for me. That's just sad...
Even for those who are not affected by COVID 19, there are people with chronic diseases, such as cancer and diabetes, who feel like their existence has become a burden to the family. That they can never live a normal life ever again and socialize like they used to - They eventually start to feel lonely.
These kinds of feelings makes them want to distant themselves from people and it adds on to the loneliness they already feel.
When my Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease worsen, it has caused many sleepless nights, countless panic attacks, painful heartburns, asthmatic symptoms, social pressure, and depressing thoughts as well.
I also had knee and hip joint chronic injury as well which affects my overall strength and physical abilities.
I do look fit and healthy just like any guys in their 20's and 30's which is why I have depressing thoughts about it because I am really not as fit and healthy as what others think I am.
It's hard to confess or to tell anyone that I have a few medical problems. Sometimes, people don't believe, and when people finally believe, they will start judging me and treat me like a sick and an unable guy.
Nobody wants to be sick and medically unfit from a young age.
There Is A Way Out...
Of course, there are ways we can deal with these feelings positively and prevent ourselves from developing toxic and harmful habits to cope with loneliness.
"Stay away from drugs!"
I'll start compiling on the most effective ways on how to deal with loneliness and what to do if we, our spouse, or our children suffer from this issue in the next post, yeah.
What about yourself? Have you ever feel lonely even though you're not alone? Or do you feel lonely when you're alone?
Zaid Omar is the founder and writer of this blog.. He is someone who values being the best version of himself with regards to his Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual aspects.